All I know is that the end's beginning
by BadassGenius
Summary: What happened right after Derek left their house in NY?  3.01 flashback; the story is set right after it. Flashback story.
1. Chapter 1

**Fandom:** Grey's Anatomy  
**Character: **Addison&Derek **Rating:** PG  
**Status**: Complete (One Shot)  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me. The title belongs to the Trading Yesterday; it's a line from "Shattered", one of my all time favorite songs.  
**Author's Note**: I've been in a high Addek mood lately so I've decided to write a fic. Angst, no fluff. I'd like to thank my beta-reader Sunflower and I dedicate this fiction to all the Addeks out there. I hope you'll like it!

**All I know is that the end's beginning.**

In the very moment Derek shut the door and left the house, Addison knew that her marriage was over. She also knew that her marriage was over way before that fighting but she kept on living in denial because she didn't want to let everything go.

Everything started with Derek being absent, it was like he was gone. Addison couldn't tell what was going on with him but he started being more and more distant every day. Every time she tried to talk to him about this, he shrugged, kissed her on the forehead and said that everything was just fine.

After nights spent alone in their bed crying her heart out, Addison found her way to feel better. Sleeping with Mark made her feel alive again, it made her forget all the pain and the sorrow she felt. Addison tried to stop that but she just couldn't because she needed it to feel alive, she needed to breathe in order to lead her life. Every time Addison had sex with Mark, she saw Derek's face; she even said his name once or twice, she even had tears in her eyes, she even hated herself for what she was doing but she just couldn't stop it.

Addison was just standing there, staring at the door, praying to see Derek entering in the house asking her to talk, to let her explain why she did it. The clock was ticking. Minutes went by but Derek didn't arrive; he was gone. He didn't want to see her and she knew he was right.

Summoning up all the strength she had, Addison walked to the living room and poured herself a drink. She didn't know what to do, she felt lost and broken inside. Now more than ever in her whole life. She sat on the couch, thinking about all they had been through, how they had met, how they had fallen in love, how they had always been together in everything they did. Because they were Addison and Derek.

She drank up her drink, put the glass on the table and then pulled her knees up to her chest, her head on her knees, already wet of silent tears. Addison knew she had to react, that she had to do something, that she couldn't just cry like that. It wouldn't have been her; she knew she was strong enough to survive this but not that night. Time was all she needed to recover, to fix her own mistakes.

The room was dark, only the hall's light was on. It was raining a lot and all she could hear were her sobs and the rain falling on her house's roof. Addison was feeling cold because she was still wet of rain but she couldn't care less. She was hoping to hear his car coming back home but the more time passed, the more she accepted that Derek wouldn't have come back home that night.

One hour of pain passed. She stood up from the couch, her feet walking slowly upstairs. Tears were almost gone and the thought of being alone was getting more and more real every second. Addison entered her bedroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She was a disaster: her long red hair all clammy, her eyes were small and red, her t-shirt humid and ruined and she was also looking pale.

Addison took off her t-shirt and wore a clean nightdress, she put up her hair than went to the bathroom and washed her face. She washed it so harshly as she wanted to wash all the sins away. She tried not to cry anymore, then took her cellphone out of her bag and walked downstairs.

Once downstairs, she laid down on the couch and then dialed his number. One ring, two rings, three, four, five rings but she didn't get any answer. "Come on, Derek" she whispered. He didn't answer the phone.

In that moment Addison started thinking about what Derek was doing right now, where he was, if he was thinking about her as she was thinking about him. She hated herself for what she did to Derek, to them, but she also knew that it wasn't all her fault that her marriage was falling apart.

She tried to call him again and again but he never answered. She looked at the clock: 3.23 am. Pretty late and Addison was on call at 9.00 am the day after but she just couldn't sleep. Addison tossed and turned, her cellphone in her right hand, hoping to get a call from her husband.

Finally it happened. At 4.03 am her phone rang. She wasn't sleeping, she immediately sat on the couch and let her phone ringing. After three rings, Addison replied. Her voice was trembling, her hands were shaking.

"Why, Addison? Why?" Derek started the conversation. His voice was broken and tired.

"Derek, please… " she was begging him.

"Addison… " talking to her was more complicated than he thought "Give me a reason… "

"I… " Addison chuckled "Derek, I don't know…"

"You don't know?" he brutally interrupted her.

Addison started crying again, she had never heard his voice so angry.

"You don't know why you screwed my best friend?"

"It's…" Addison collected her own strength "You were never here, Derek. You have no idea what I've been through in these last months. You've been absent, you've left me alone"

Derek could hear her crying on the phone and even if she couldn't hear him, he was crying with her.

"I've asked you so many times what was wrong but you never replied" she whipped away her tears.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Addison… But I can't live with the thought of you and Mark in bed together…"

"Please…" her voice broke "Give me a chance, Derek. Give me a chance to make things right"

"I can't, Addison" he stopped for a second "I need a break. From you, from us, from New York."

Addison died a little inside. She was hoping Derek gave her another chance, everybody makes mistakes and there's always a way to fix them. It might have taken them days, weeks, months or even years but she truly believed that they would have made things right.

"If you give me a chance, Derek, I promise you I'll fix this." She looked at the precious gold ring on her finger, flashing to her wedding day, the best day of her life.

Addison couldn't know it but, thirty miles away, Derek was sitting on a bed in an hotel room and he was doing the very same thing: he was staring at his own wedding ring but, unlike his wife, he took the ring off and put it in his coat's pocket.

"No, Addison. Look, I'm sorry but I just can't. There's no way we're going to fix this. You've betrayed me and when I look at you, I don't see the woman I married anymore. The Addison I loved is gone…"

This was too much to hear for her. Addison was losing it, she crossed her legs and covered her eyes with her left hand, trying to send back the tears. When the cold gold of her wedding ring touched her face, she just couldn't handle it anymore. She knew that she was losing her life.

"No, Derek, don't… We're Addison and Derek, we're going to make things right, like we always do… You're my husband and I love you… "

Derek took a deep breath, hold the phone tightly and said: "We're not Derek and Addison anymore. I'm done. We're done." Then he hung up the phone and let all the tears, all the pain, all the suffering go. Still dressed, Derek laid down on the bed, impregnating the pillow of tears full of regrets and remorse.

Addison couldn't speak or emit any sound. She was shocked and desperate. Nothing made sense anymore, she was feeling empty and more broken than ever. They were done, he said. Those words were echoing in her head like she was listening to a song on repeat mode.

She threw her cellphone against the wall, realizing that her marriage was done for good. Trying to mend the pieces of her broken heart, Addison went upstairs and filled the bathtub with warm water and vanilla bath foam. Naked, she entered in the bathtub. Her eyes full of tears, her heart broken.

Addison couldn't think, couldn't speak, couldn't sleep. Scientifically speaking, she was alive. Practically speaking, though, she was dead. She felt so cold inside, so empty. Staring at the white ceiling of the bathroom, she knew that Derek was gone for good, that he wasn't going to come back.

The bath didn't last long 'cause she had to get ready for work. While dressing up, Addison wished she was still a kid, when her biggest concern was to get As in her finals and her biggest harm was a broken bone. Falling apart, being torn into hundreds tiny pieces was much worse than that and, definitely, it was the saddest feeling Addison had ever felt. Every step Addison took hurt her like a knife in the back, because every step was a step without Derek, without the love of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Fandom:** Grey's Anatomy  
**Character: **Addison&Derek **Rating:** PG  
**Status**: In progress (Chapter 2 – Broken trust and broken hearts)  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me. The title belongs to the Shontelle; it's a line from "Impossible". That's such an Addek song, if you ask me.  
**Author's Note**: Second chapter of the story "All I know is that the end's beginning". English is not my first language and considering that it's Christmas Time I haven't asked my beta-reader to check on this fic because I didn't want to bother her, so please be nice. LOL

**-Chapter 2-**

**Broken trust and broken hearts.**

Derek opened his eyes three hours later. His head was spinning, his eyes were hurting and his heart was broken. Derek didn't really sleep, he tried to rest a little but the pain was just so real that he couldn't fall asleep. He tossed and turned in the bed, refusing to get up.

A weak light pierced into the bedroom through the shutter, letting him know that it was time to get up. Derek took a quick shower, got dressed, paid the room and left the hotel. He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to see Addison, he wanted to leave and to be left alone.

The weather was pretty cold but he didn't care. He quickly jumped in his car and went to the hospital, trying not to think that his life was falling apart. Derek stopped at the traffic lights and then he saw it: under the passenger' seat there was a little black bag. It was Addison's bag. Seeing it felt like a punch in the face: thinking about his wife hurt him too much. He just couldn't understand her, for him it was like the Addison he knew was gone. Derek couldn't help it but, as broken as he was, he didn't want to be Addison's husband anymore.

Addison left her house because she needed to go to work. She hadn't sleep a minute but still, she had to deliver babies. Addison wanted to talk to the Chief, she needed one or two days off. She needed time on her own, she needed to think about her life, she had decisions to take.

While driving to the hospital, Addison tried not to think about Derek but she just couldn't. The golden band on her finger reminded her of everything they had been through as a couple, as husband and wife, as Addison and Derek. She didn't want to admit that her marriage was over, she needed to believe that they still had a chance.

Arrived at the Hospital's parking lot, Addison looked for Derek's car. It wasn't there. Of course it wasn't there, she thought. Addison was the last person Derek wanted to see and she perfectly knew it. Trying not to cry, she entered in the Hospital to start her workday.

At the end of the day, Addison asked for two days off and the Chief, seeing how she was feeling, agreed. Addison left the Chief's office and walked to the elevator; she entered in it and pushed the stop button. The elevator stopped with its doors closed and Addison got down on her knees and started to cry. She had been strong all day but now, she needed to let the pain go.

Silent tears streamed down her face, she took off her wedding ring and looked at it. She remembered the vows they promised each other so many years ago and realizing that everything was just gone was painful.

Addison cried for an undefined time, then she got up, cleaned her face with a tissue and pushed the button again. The elevator started to move but it stopped one floor below, the doors slowly opened and Addison and Derek met each other.

"Oh…" she whispered.

"I'll take the stairs" he said, unable to look at her.

"Derek, wait!" she begged him but Derek was already gone.

Over. It was over. Derek didn't want to see her, even if all she asked was a second chance.

When Derek saw Addison in the elevator, a sting hit him. He couldn't look at her in the eyes but she surely wasn't fine. She looked messy and about to have a breakdown and Derek knew that he had his faults too; seeing her once again didn't make him change his mind, though. What Addison didn't know was that Derek had just quit his job and he was going home to take some clothes and leave for good. Derek hadn't decided his destination yet, he just wanted to leave as soon as possible. He needed to leave New York, Addison, Mark, his marriage behind. A new life was all he needed in that very moment.

Derek looked shattered, Addison thought. He hadn't shaved that morning, his wavy hair was all messed, his eyes sad, his voice distant and angry. Addison felt more guilty, if that's even possible, but there was nothing more she could do. She couldn't wait to go home and take a warm bath to wash all her troubles away.

Addison arrived at home really quickly. She entered in the house, it was cold inside and it was like all the pain and the sadness were still lingering in there. The redhead took off her coat, turned all the heaters on and poured herself a glass of red wine. She grabbed the bottle of wine and her wedding picture and sat on the couch in the living-room, trying to relax.

They looked so happy in the picture: her red hair was long and slightly curled, her eyes were so intense and happy, they were sparkling like shiny little stars. Both Addison and Derek were smiling, they were so young and in love with each other. She remembered that day like it was yesterday, she could still feel the happiness and the joy of the best day of her life.

She took off her wedding ring and put it on the table next to the couch. She looked at it one last time, then put the wedding picture on her lap and closed her eyes. Memories and moments of their life together started dancing in her head; the more she drank the more her head spun.

The door slammed but she didn't notice it. Addison was still sitting on the couch, her knees up to her chest, her head on her knees, the bottle of wine and the glass both empty. She didn't hear those quick steps on the floor but the voice of somebody familiar made her realize that she wasn't alone in the house anymore.

"I'm just gonna take some clothes and I'll leave" a male voice said out loud.

It was Derek. She could have recognized his voice among thousands of voices. Addison tried to stand up but her head spun even more faster; she tried again, slower this time and fell on the floor.

Derek wanted to do this as soon as possible. Addison's car was outside, so she was in the house. He didn't want to talk to her, he didn't want to hear her fucking apologies, he just wanted to pack his clothes and disappear forever.

He didn't get any answer. He thought Addison was sleeping but that loud noise let him know that she was somewhere in the house and, certainly, she wasn't asleep. "Addison, where are you?" he yelled.

They had a huge house, too big for two people. When they had bought it, they wanted to have kids and start a family together. They used to imagine little redhead kids with dreamy smiles on their faces. He shook his head, sending away those painful memories.

"Li… Living-room" she whispered in a weird way.

This wasn't her voice, he thought. Derek could hear Addison mumbling some random words downstairs and then he got it: his wife was drunk. She had only gotten drunk twice in her life: when she graduated from Med School and when she lost her first patient. He knew why she was drunk now and even if his head was saying him no, he followed his heart and went downstairs.

Derek found Addison sitting on the floor, her back leaned on the couch. He turned on the lights and only in that very moment he realized how broken and devastated she was: an empty bottle and empty glass on the table, some drops of red wine on the Persian carpet on the floor, his wife all messed up and totally drunk sitting on the floor with their wedding picture in her right hand.

"Addison…" he started. He didn't know what to say and even in that moment he couldn't look at her in the eyes.

"Leave… Leave me… Alone" she couldn't really speak because she was too drunk in order to do it.

"Yes, I'm just… Packing my things"

"Derek… What?" she was rubbing her head, trying to focus on what he was saying.

"Addison, I'm leaving. I need some time on my own."

"Look at me, Derek." She ordered him.

Derek tried to look at her in the eyes but he couldn't, he was scared to meet her eyes.

Addison summoned all the strength she had and stood up. Slowly she walked to Derek, grabbed his face in her hands and forced him to look at her in the eyes.

Their eyes met and it was a whirl of emotions, feelings and pain.

"Don't go, please" she begged him.

"You broke my heart, Addison! You slept with my best friend, you betrayed me!" his tone was higher now.

"It's.. It's my fault, ok?" tears started streaming down her face.

"I… I have to go."

Then something unexpected happened. Addison hugged Derek, her arms surrounded his body, holding him tight. For just one second Derek felt safe in his wife's arms but then he harshly pushed her away.

He turned left, he was about to leave the room when he noticed the ring on the table. Derek looked at it, he took it in his hands and played a little with it. Addison realized that neither Derek was wearing his ring; she knew that she would have regretted this for the rest of her life, but she also knew that this was the only possible thing she could do right now.

"Derek.. I… I'll send you the divorce papers the day after tomorrow" now, _she_ couldn't look at him in the eyes, so she stared at the little red drops on the very expensive Persian carpet under her bare feet.

Her words hit him like a punch in his stomach, he skipped an heartbeat, he couldn't feel the ground under his feet anymore. This came totally unexpected because the day before she wanted to fix things and now she wanted to divorce; this wasn't like her.

"You're drunk, Addison" he said.

"Are you surprised, Derek?" Addison started "You don't want to give me a second chance, you don't want to give me the possibility to make things right, you're not wearing your wedding ring anymore." She looked at him straight in the eyes and yelled at him "Last night you told me that we're done, Derek!"

"I'm broken, ok?" he yelled, louder than her "I've never felt this way before! I trusted you, I trusted Mark and what did I get? You and him in bed together! Come on!" Derek was getting nervous.

"Everybody makes mistakes, Derek" she took a deep breath, trying to send the tears away "There's always a way to fix things! Just let me find the right way to do it…"

"Mark was my best friend, Addison!"

"I'm sorry, Derek, I'm sorry" she wasn't screaming anymore, she was crying and whispering.

Seeing her down like that broke him even more. He needed to go right now, things were getting complicated and he didn't want to see her suffering like that. It was something too painful to handle. He started walking away and said "Send me the divorce papers, I'll sign them."

Derek left the house without getting his clothes. Addison heard his car leaving and she felt like that was the last time she would have ever seen her husband.


	3. Chapter 3

**Fandom:** Grey's Anatomy  
**Character: **Addison&Derek **Rating:** PG  
**Status**: Complete (Chapter 3 – I love you too much to walk away)  
**Disclaimer:** The characters and the show belong to ABC, not to me. The title belongs to the Eminem; it's a line from "Love the way you lie".  
**Author's Note**: Third and last chapter of the story "All I know is that the end's beginning". Maybe some of you wanted more chapters but I didn't want to ruin it with writing a lot of nonsense or useless things; I honestly wanted something intense and pleasant to read. So, this is a pretty long chapter and probably the longest one I've ever written but I just didn't want to divide this in two different chapters. It's perfect this way, if you ask me. Well, I do hope you guys liked the whole story!

**-Chapter 3-**

**I love you too much to walk away.**

Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery Shepherd was a strong woman and even if her world was falling apart, she knew that she couldn't let the pain kill her . She needed to face it, to move on, to let go.

After a night spent completely drunk on the couch, Addison woke up. Her head was hurting, her hair was all messy and she looked like a skinny panda: her face pale, her mascara and eyeliner smudged. She put her wedding picture next to her wedding ring on the table, then she went upstairs to take a shower.

Addison took a quick warm shower and then moved to her bedroom to get dressed. She tried not to look at her bed; she couldn't sleep in it anymore. It was full of memories and the image of Derek finding her having sex with Mark was just too real and alive to let her sleep in that bed ever again.

She put on her favorite Donna Karan red dress and her favorite Manolo Blahnik black shoes. She wore make up, red lipstick on her lips, brushed her hair, two drops of Chanel n°5 on her neck, took her Burberry winter coat and her Chanel bag and she was ready to leave the house to go to see her lawyer.

When Derek left the house, he had to go back to the hotel he spent the previous night. He cuddled up in the bed and all he could think of were Addison's words about getting divorced. Her words hit him, they hurt him so much and he just couldn't deny it. He tossed and turned, trying to get asleep but he just couldn't.

In the middle of the night Derek decided his destination: Seattle. According to him, it was far enough from Addison and Mark; plus, he knew that there was a pretty good hospital in there. He was sure he would have been hired right away. A neurosurgery God can get a job everywhere, he thought before falling asleep.

He woke up few hours later. He took a shower, got dressed, paid the room and left the hotel. For good this time. Derek didn't want to go home to get his clothes so he went to the first boutique he could find and bought some new clothes. The shop assistant was a redhead and looking at her immediately made Derek think about Addison. This woman isn't as beautiful as Addison, he thought. He left her drunk last night, he didn't know how she was and he didn't even want to know. Derek was really trying to remove Addison from his mind. It was hard to delete eleven years of marriage but he was doing his best.

Addison's lawyer's office was just fifteen minutes away from her house and she got there in no time. As she jumped off the car, a little snowflake fell on her head. Then another one and another one. It was starting to snow. In other circumstances she would have loved snow.

She looked up in the sky and whispered, annoyed: "Seriously?"

Eleven years of marriage were about to be destroyed. You can't destroy the memories, she thought. There are other things you can destroy, though. Other things that will never happen. Kids, for example. Or growing old together. She shook her head, trying to send those thoughts away.

When her lawyer, Rebecca Johnson Parker, passed Addison the divorce papers, she couldn't help but cry a little. Sparkling tears streamed down her cheeks. Her hands were trembling.

"I… I'm sorry" she started "I guessed it would have been easier" Addison carefully wiped away the tears from her eyes. Luckily she was wearing waterproof mascara but she didn't want to ruin it anyway.

"It's never easy, Montgomery" her lawyer stated.

"You're not helping me, Parker" Addison hissed.

"Oh come on, you're gonna be fine!" Rebecca said, softer this time.

"It's easy for you to say" Addison continued, brushing aside a wisp of glossy red hair. "You're a divorce lawyer!"

Rebecca burst out laughing. "I do this for a living, Mongtomery."

"You… you have a perfect life, for God's sake! A husband who loves you so much and would never give up on you, two awesome little girls and your marriage couldn't be any stronger!"

"Whoa, Montgomery" Rebecca stood up and walked to Addison, hugging her. Addison tried to push her away but she also needed some comfort, so she hugged Rebecca back. "You're Addison Adrienne Forbes Montgomery. You're the most determined, strong, brilliant person I've ever met. I'm sure you'll get through this, no matter what. And if you need a shoulder to cry on, you know where I live." She whispered to Addison's right ear, then placed a little kiss on her cheek and let her go. "You should go now."

"I'm sorry, Parker… I shouldn't…"

"Don't." Rebecca smiled at her. "Just take your divorce papers and get your damn hot ass out of here!"

For the first time in two days, Addison smiled.

"Thank you" she said lovingly. She took the divorce papers, put them in her bag and left Rebecca's office.

Rebecca and Addison had known each other since they were newborns. They used to be neighbors and they attended all schools together. They were just like sisters. Their lives separated when Addison was admitted to Med School and Rebecca to Law School; they had never lost contact though and Rebecca was still one of Addison's closest friends.

Outside, the weather was chilly. It was snowing a lot more than before and all Addison wanted was to stop at Tipsy Parson and have a Hot Buttered Rum. She loved that cocktail and it was her favorite way to get warm. It was only twenty minutes from Rebecca's office, so she jumped in the car and started driving.

Derek left the boutique with his new clothes already on. He put the old ones in the car and jumped in it; the airport was his destination. He hadn't booked the ticket to Seattle yet but he couldn't care less; once in the airport, he would have bought the ticket for the first flight to Seattle. First class, preferably.

It was snowing. He loved snow. _She_ loved snow. A young happy Shepherd couple popped up to his mind: it was Christmas Eve, it was snowing so much and they were outside in their garden, playing in the snow like kids. Her red hair was even brighter in the snow, his eyes glowing as he saw her dancing like a perfect ballerina in the snow. Derek closed his eyes, allowing himself to remember how happy they used to be just for one second, then he opened his eyes and started driving.

Addison's bag was still under the passenger' seat. Derek forgot to give it to his wife last night. He gave it a second look and then he remembered: he gave it to her as a present for her birthday two years ago. She wanted that Balenciaga bag so much and he bought it for her. Hot, passionate sex was her way to thank him. Her warm lips on his, her hands touching every centimeter of his skin…

You have to stop this, Derek. He ordered himself to stop thinking about her. You need to focus on the street, he thought. Derek couldn't drive fast due to snow but he couldn't wait to take that damn plane and leave for good, leaving his old life behind.

While driving to the airport, Derek saw that Italian restaurant they loved. Everything tasted delicious there; she loved pasta, he loved lasagna. She loved pizza, he loved spaghetti and meatballs. It had been a year since the last time they had dinner there. Not that she didn't want to go but he didn't have enough time to dedicate to his wife. She asked, he said no. She organized, he cancelled.

Derek was extremely sad and anxious. He was starting to realize why Addison fell in Mark's arms. She was right, he was wrong. She didn't want to be alone and he left her alone.

Once again, he quickly closed and opened his eyes to send away those thoughts from his mind. He didn't realize he was crying until a salty tear hit the corner of his lips. Without stopping driving, he grabbed his wedding ring from his pocket and put it on the passenger' seat.

As Derek touched the cold gold of the ring, he flashed to the day he asked Addison to marry him. It was summer, they were having dinner in the balcony and he just spilled it out. She screamed in joy, jumped like a little girl and, most of all, she said yes. Her eyes were shining in the same way precious stones do.

He shook his head but his wedding day came to his mind. Her red hair loose on her shoulders, her blue-green eyes so bright and shiny, a big smile on her face: she couldn't have looked more beautiful. He said yes, she said yes. They kissed. They promised to love each other always and forever.

Then he saw it. Addison's car outside Tipsy Parson. Derek pretended not see it but he was quite surprise to see it there. He didn't know that Addison had the day off and he didn't know that she had already seen her lawyer. He kept driving, a bit faster this time.

The airport wasn't far now but something caught his attention: on the left of the street there was a big yellow and blue placard with Los Angeles pictures. It showed economic prices for flights directed to the land where the sun always shines. The girl on the placard had a big smile on her face, her green eyes looked so happy and peaceful.

His mind travelled to the summer he and Addison flew to Los Angeles on vacation. He didn't like the heat and the warm weather but _she_ did. He wanted to go to Chicago but she wanted to go to Los Angeles so badly that he let her win. They spent ten beautiful days. On the beach, she looked stunning in her blue bathing suit, her hair was a little longer and the sun made it a little lighter. All that sun even gave her some little freckles on her nose, which disappeared as soon as they were back in New York. The engagement ring, a pure diamond, and her wedding ring shined on her ring-finger. _"I love you" she said, kissing him on his lips "I love you too" he replied and, holding hands, they walked on the sand toward the beautiful blue ocean. _

Derek couldn't handle it anymore. He knew he couldn't leave his wife, not like that. He turned his black car and drove as fast as he could to the Tipsy Parson. Addison's car was still there, so she must have been in that little cute bar. He opened the door but he didn't see her. There were only ten people in the big warm room and Addison wasn't among them. He went to the bartender.

"Excuse me" he started, politely. "Have you seen a redhead woman? Tall, thin, blue-green eyes…"

"Good morning, Sir" the young bartender replied "Yes, I've seen her. Do you want me to call her for you?"

"No, not exactly. Just tell me where she is, I need to talk to her"

"She doesn't want to be bothered. I'm sorry Sir"

"I'm her husband!" Derek said, louder. He was losing his patient.

"Oh well, in that case…" the bartender replied, annoyed. "She's in the private room, over there."

Derek didn't thank the bartender, he just quickly walked to the private room. He opened the door and there _she_ was, sitting all alone with a white ceramic cup in her hands. She looks beautiful, he thought.

Addison saw the door opening and the man walking in was her husband. She didn't want to see him, she wanted to be left alone now, alone with her favorite winter cocktail. He looks handsome in his black suit and his light blue shirt, she thought.

"Addison…" Derek started.

"What, Derek? Why are you here?" she said, unable to look at him.

"I… I need to talk to you" he continued.

"Seriously, Derek?" she hissed, sipping her cocktail.

"Look at me, please" he was begging her. "Addie, please…"

"Don't Addie me!" she yelled at him.

Derek took some steps in order to get closer to Addison and smelled the rum's aroma.

"Is that rum?" he answered her, pointing at the white ceramic cup in her hands.

"So what? Do you have a problem with that, Derek?" she asked him, raising her right eyebrow.

"Are you serious, Addison?" he was getting pissed "It's not even midday and you're already drinking! It's not healthy, you know it!"

"You don't get to lecture me, Derek!" she yelled at him and stood up to face her husband. "You lost that right when you walked away on me, on us! You're the one who left me in the middle of the night! I was drunk, Derek! Anything could have happened to me and you walked away! You gave up, for God's Sake!"

Her words hit him like thousands of bullets. He knew he hurt her when he left her but he couldn't imagine that he hurt her _that_ much. He never saw her angry and broken like that. He was about to talk but she talked first. He saw her grabbing something from her bag.

"Here you are!" she hissed, giving him the divorce papers "Sign them and you'll be free. Free to go!"

Derek took the divorce papers and put them on the table.

"I'm sorry, Addison. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. Everything." he started, looking at her straight in the eyes. "I've left you alone when you needed me the most, I've ignored you when you asked me what was wrong. You and Mark… I should have seen it coming. He's my best friend but so he's yours and he's always been there for you, since the day I introduced him to you. It's my fault, Addison…"

She started to cry. All her efforts to repress the tears were useless. "Derek… don't do this…"

"I love you, Addison" his blue eyes were full of tears. He took something from his pocket. It was his wedding ring. Addison looked at him while he was putting it on his ring-finger. "I'm your husband, Addison. I love you and I could never love another woman. You're my life. Please…"

"It's late, Derek…" she wiped away the tears "Just sign the papers and we'll be fine. We can keep in touch if you want… We can.. " she was literally sobbing.

"Don't do this to me, Addison… I don't blame you, it's all my fault. I forgive you for what happened with Mark and one day I'll even forgive him but please, just let me in…"

Derek pushed Addison against the wall and gave her a passionate kiss. She didn't want to talk and he couldn't tell her how he felt in any other way. He kissed her lips, played with her hair.

"I love you so much, Addison…" he whispered, silent tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you, Derek…" she sighed. In his arms all the pain she had felt in those two days just faded away. She felt home in his arms, she felt safe and protected, loved. "I love you, I love you Derek…"

He hugged her tighter. They hadn't shared a hug like that in a time as long as eternity.

"I've missed you, Derek…"

"I've missed you too, Addison. I've been an ass lately…"

"I have my faults too. Let's start fresh, ok?"she said, letting him go and taking her bag, in order to put her wedding ring onto her ring-finger again.

"Yes, honey, yes. We're Derek and Addison and we'll get through this."

"You can bet" she smiled at him. "Oh God, I love you so much!"

This time Addison pushed Derek against the wall and kissed him. Her tongue sneaked in his mouth and started dancing with his one, her hands caressing his chest and his hair. Derek's erection hit her thigh, making her feel horny and eager to have sex with her husband.

"Let's go home and try to forget all of this, ok?" she suggested, smiling.

"Sure thing" he replied, excited "I want you, Addie"

She laughed naughtily and so did he. She grabbed her bag and they left the bar headed home.

They took Derek's car, they would have come back to get Addison's one later. Driving home, all the tension, the pain, the suffering were gone. They were together again and that was all that mattered. It wasn't all perfect, that was for sure. There were things they still needed to fix but as long as they were together, they would have made it. They would have survived this. Because they were, and they would have always been, Addison and Derek and nobody could ever change that.


End file.
